Thursday, June 17, 2010

Thursday, 17 Jun 2010

Well, here I am again.. at the USO for internet... WHY, when I spent $80.00 to connect to the local web (and be able to connect from my room).. ITS NOT WORKING.. ERRGGH.
I am frustrated. It would be nice to be able to sit back and be out of uniform and chat with my friends online.. without being at the USO... Owell.. I know.. we are lucky to even have internet... OMG.. HOW would I survive without it at all.. I guess I should be thankful, vice bitching about it ehh? I think I am more pisst becuase I spent 80 to be connected..
and its NOT working..
Today was another busy day.. but today was GOOD busy.. improvements busy..
See - I dont just receive reports for people that die.. I also get them for those that get sick.. or minor/seriously injured.. and then we get updates and statuses on them.. almost daily.. so today was full of updates and statuses - but they were all (MOSTLY) good.. so it was a Busy Good Day. :)

As I was walking around Prison Camp today I noticed how many foreign locals we have here working.. and it makes me wonder.. how many of them are spies.. come on.. we can't be naive enough to believe that the Afghans are smart enough to infiltrate themselves.. they did it in the US.. they damn sure could do it here.. in their own country.. so I wonder.. which one that I am looking at is the "bad" guy...

Then I look at the foreign locals that are armed on base... yes.. armed and guns loaded.. and wonder.. "Is today the day he is going to freak out, and just go on a shooting rampage?" Is he a good guy.. or a bad guy in disguise...just waiting for the right moment.

I look out over the barriers at the mountain sides around us and see homes.. buildings and wonder.. which one could have a sniper in it.. How clearly can they see us? I know this is like a prison here.. and that leaves me with great comfort.. BUT watching foreigners walk around with loaded weapons.. kinda creeps me out..

Not to mention..even our own.. when I see our own guys.. walking around with loaded weapons.. i wonder.. which one will be the one to negligently discharge? Which one will sweep me with his weapon so I can go off on him!

And then pray - please GOD.. don't let me be around when all that happens.

See, the funny part is.. I am almost.. ALMOST.. more afraid of our own with loaded weapons.. then some of the locals.. just because we too often see people that have cleaned and taken apart their weapon... and when they
put it back together.. end up shooting themselves or someone else.. becuase there was a round in the chamber! Errgh.. How fucking stupid is that? They TAKE apart their weapon.. and still dont see it?? IMPOSSIBLE.. seriously.. come on.. those of you who have cleaned your weapons.. if you have done it correctly.. you know.. it would NOT be loaded and BESIDES.. CARDINAL RULE - ALWAYS ALWAYS treat a weapon like it is loaded!!!

Today - was a sad day of few incidents. SUICIDES are always hard to deal with. And it hurts to think about that individuals last moments.. what hurt soo bad.. that ending their life was the only answer? Meticulously planned.. thought out and executed... DAMN... if only they would've talked to someone.. anyone.. It's truly disheartening.

Okay.. enough about death.. altho it is scary out here.. I am probably exagerating on my fears.. just a tad... BUT NOT too much.. Seriuosly.. BUT what is funny.. is the Marines.. they THRIVE on that fear.. they know NOT that fear and want more.. want to go out.. want to drive that HMMWV.. want to man that weapon... they love it.. its imbedded in them.. BUT.. that is then. I am not a Marine.. I am not in the Army.. I am a Sailor.. I drive ships.. I don't drive HMMWVs with mounted weapons... I drive huge steal ships with mounted guns and other tactical defense weapons!! :) WE are usually bigger than our opponent.. :)
Out here.. we are in the heart of their city.. and they have nothing to lose.. That is probably the worst part.. they have NOTHING to lose (the locals).

Okay.. enough depressing crap.. Thats the kind of things that have been running thru my head today.
Tonight.. I am going to try and stay up late.. I start night shift tomorrow.. so.. I need to stay up way late.. sleep in and go to work by 2200..
woohoo.. night shift. :) It will be good.. it will put me on good schedule with kids and friends back home..(Jamie!! :) and my sisters!! I will be able to chat with them periodically throughout the day!! yeaaa!! :)
Okay.. gonna go.. they are having SALSA lessons tonight.. and trying to recruit more women.. lol might as well... :)
More tomorrow


  1. Tanya, I speak from experience when I tell you this. You cannot keep thinkin this way, day in and day out. Not sayin to accept things or become complacent, but this deployment is gonna get to you deeper and more frustrating than you could ever imagine....if you continue your thought process of who is bad, who is trained, when is the next sniper round or mortar round. Be on your toes, alert and aware, but it has to sit somewhere towards the back of your mind. Upfront like this is very unhealthy. I have seen buddies "snap" from thinkin this way way too long. Just tryin to help in any way I can.

  2. Awww Sista! I can't imagine walking around in your shoes and seeing what you see. It's a whole different world. Be safe. Be careful. And stay positive. I am so proud of you. YOU are strong and tough and smart. I love you. Hope you enjoy Salsa lessons! :)