Monday, June 7, 2010

Monday, 7 June 2010

Work, was work. Another 8 hour shift.. somewhat slow night.. slow just means less than 10.. give or take.. it definitely gives me the "look" into what kind of casualties we are seeing out here in Afghanistan, Iraq, and Kuwait. Very sombering. Very sobering.
Can't talk too much about it, but needless to say, the news does NOT report everything. Only what they want people to see or believe.. its quite sad to be honest. The only thing on the news is what ever could be considered con traversal. Its really sad for those that are losing their lives over here, and all you get to see... is things that make us look bad.. what they are NOT showing is the constant stream of IEDs, snipers, and ambushes our guys are facing, on even the most simplest of tasks. We take for granted driving down a highway in the states, being defensive drivers to those we think are not paying attention. Over here.. driving down a street is a nerve racking experience. Anything.. ANYTHING can be an IED..anyone can be guilty.. someone paying TOO much attention, and you never know.. and you can never be sure..and if you find an IED, of those that are found, there are those that are not... most of them are traps. If you found an IED, before it detonates, its usually because they want you to feel as if you found it.. and you may let your guard down for 1 sec.. 1 mm of a second.. and thats all it takes.. the real IED.. the real one, not meant to be discovered, is waiting for you to turn around, or take one more step, or one more rotation of the tires on your HMMV thinking you found it... Thats all it takes. I am telling you, even here in the so called green zone.. my drive here was definitely nerve racking and as I get closer to getting to Afghanistan, it scares the hell out of me. Some of the guys here were TAD to Khandahar when a Rocket hit. They were less than 100 meters from the incident.. I can NOT even imagine..Its a scary fucking place.. period.
and it really pisses me off that the news doesn't show you what really takes place here. I have seen some news that makes us look like gorillas.. (not always.. I know) people here... are just tryin to stay alive. Just trying to help those that are in need, those that are injured, or stuck, or ambushed.. and they are put in impossible situations. I'm sorry.. but if it were anyone of them, and it came down to it.. and their life was on the line.. if they had to choose to shoot the shooter or be shot... they would shoot the shooter.. if they say they wouldn't.. they are lying or simply stupid (my opinion).. I have to tell you.. I want to go home. I will do what it take to go home alive.. not in a box. They don't train us to be killers, they train us to stay alive.
Even still, no amount of training will prepare you for watching someone die in the vehicle in front of you. I feel for each and everyone of our guys that have had to face that, each and everyone of those family members that have lost their loved one over here. Simple missions, turn into blood baths. It a sad reality and its happening.
This is our reality.
I was lost in the haze and thought, well, I work in a building. Not on the front lines. Not in convoys.. not outside the wires. Maybe I am safer where I am at.. but.. tell that to the others, in other locations that are being rocketed, or bombed, mortared, ambushed, and they aren't outside the wires. I won't say much more than that.. I have done some google searches - with no results, so until then I will reserve what I am really pisst about.

Yesterday was a baking 124 degrees. Today was probably the same.. but included a sand storm all day. It felt as if you were walking into a blow dryer blowing fine sand in every crevice of your face... with no "cool air" button to push. It was hot. It is 5 am and has cooled down considerably.. (probably only about 100) - but I am sure by the time I wake up.. it will be nice and HOT again..

Thats really all I have for tonight.. I'm tired. Tomorrow is a day off for me.. finally.. a day to myself..

3 comments:

  1. You said it exactly right. NO amount of training prepares you to see, watch, or even hear about your best buddy or co worker gettin hit and killed. I truly believe in "ALL GAVE SOME" because no one is truly the same when they come home, and now you are in the same boat as the rest of us. You are one of the strongest people I know and will handle it all just fine, even the extreme of losing someone you personally know. Don't doubt or forget that.

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  2. Tanya,
    Thank you for your service...I happened on your blog because of LT Joe Bartley and wish I could either jump on a plane to go hug your children or come there sneaking great bottles of wine to drink with you. Today the news was 7 US military casualites (do not know if that is army, marines or a corpsmen)but what does that matter? Someone's family is having that knock on the door...I know with what the press, the reports say that that number is going to increase. I am so sad. I can not imagine the sacrifice you endure everyday. Please keep writing even as painful, hot and fustrasting as it is...I share your news with everyone I can.
    laura

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  3. I love you Sis. Thanks for the call today, it was great to hear your voice. I hope you enjoy your day off and get some pool time in. I layed out today, with sunscreen, and still managed to get burnt on my shoulders! Arrgh! I'm off to bed now too, just posted some new pics on facebook. I love you.

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