Thursday, July 22, 2010

Thursday, 22 July 2010

Several Reasons to go to Kabul Afghanistan

(1) This is a no-salute base (unless you run into a General
outside...and are covered)
Which brings me to the next item
(2) This is a cover optional base... Really.. Optional..
Basically.. no covers need be worn
(3)You get a great view of all the homes and buildings on the hill..
so you can see the shot from the sniper, should he be there..
(4) You do not have to Wash or fold your own clothes
Think of all the money you are saving.. just don't mind the Afghan guy
who handles and folds your panties and bras
(5) No dishes to do... you throw away all dinnerware every night..
No dishes to load or unload and put away!
(6) Less chances of slipping in the shower
since your actually wearing some kind of shoes
(7) You never have to worry about what you are going to wear to work...
Or at least for about 18 hrs a day
(8) You may receive some good old fashioned SNAIL MAIL
(If not... call out all your friends and family for not caring.. :)
(9) Foreign shopping
Flea Market style.. although be careful what you bring out there (to
include pens.. if they ask for it.. you should give it.. )
you may end up losing more in giving away items, than you gain while
spending money on merchandise
(10) Housekeeping (inside the work building..)
You just have to learn how to hold your breathe or only EXHALE while
walking in after them.. or near them.. in the vicinity of them.. you get
the point
(11) You are completely enclosed and considered safe
Don't mind the walls and security guards which make it feel and look
like a prison
(12) No traffic to deal with.. (inside the compound)
Outside of the compound is another story... 10 times worse than New York
(13) Egg white omelets and scrambled egg whites are very common - and
actually.. most preferred since the regular eggs to scramble are a very
dark orange
Unnatural looking color..
(14) All you can eat salad buffet
What's left of it.. after the flies have had their fill
(15) Steak and Lobster!
Every Friday night...every 7 days... 52 times in a year...
(16) Fast internet... some of the time
Unless the insurgents have cut the lines...again... ( which happens
quite often.. )
(17) You get to carry your weapon with you..
EVERYWHERE... 24 hours a day... 7 days a week (MINUS gym time..)
(18) All the NEAR BEER you can possibly drink
And not get drunk.. :) or even catch a buzz.. (If you like to drink
beer...) I need some NEAR WINE here.. :) or NEAR TEQUILA..
(19) Unlimited supply of bottled water..
Seriously.. unlimited.. is there such a thing as OVER hydrated?
(20) Hollywood Showers....
So long as they are in the middle of the night.. otherwise.. you end up
with NO water..
Half way thru your shower, when your hair is lathered with Shampoo..
(21) Grilled Chicken everyday at lunch and dinner... (Grilled inside)
Yummy... 365 days a year.. twice a day...
(22) Thursdays and Saturdays CIGAR nights..
If that wasn't fun enough..The smell will linger on your uniform for a
week to remind you of the fun you had.. just being out there in the area
(23) Thursday Night Salsa
In your uniform, with weapon still on... real sexy...
(24) Friday night Pop Night..
No bumping and grinding on that makeshift dance floor.. unless you want
to bump and grind against other peoples Weapons..
And I mean real Guns.. not their genitals.. :) LOL
(25) If you aren't satisfied with your working hours at home, think they
are too lax... too short..
Here the normal/average day is between 12-15 hour days. No less than
12.. sometimes up to 18 hrs...
(26) You want to feel like GI Joe/Jane
Walking across the street means adding an additional 40 lbs of gear and
loaded weapons.. (again... the real guns...)

3 comments:

  1. You are funny. Glad that you are "finding" the humor in it all. Gotta keep the sanity some how, right? I love you. I miss you every day that you are gone. I can't wait for you to get back. We need some margaritas, cigrettes, and a penny machine. Love you Sista.

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  2. Hi Tanya!
    Just "checking" up after a week or so...and so glad to see you are writing again. Athough, I do not see how you do it...your post today: I laughed and cried....but through you...I can be GI Jane too :)

    take care,
    Laura

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