Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Wednesday, 14 July 2010

Today was a pretty busy day for us.. No.. actually it was REALLY busy. We had non-stop reports all day today.
Last night there was an attack.. insurgents stormed a Police HQ building.. Killing a few and injuring many others!
Then today we had another IED incident which killed 4 of the 5 occupants and Seriously injured another.
Not a good day.

I have been trying to adjust my schedule lately.. seeing what works best for me..
Originally I had proposed 0600-2100 because I would take 2 hours during the day to go PT.
To be honest.. besides the smoke breaks.. that was about the only break I would get throughout the day..
Every meal I get to go and eat it at my desk while working..

I started doing Insanity at 0500 but have quickly realized that with the long hours, lack of wind down time, and inability to sleep before 1030 or 11pm at night.. that is not going to work for me. It would be one thing if I had a normal schedule.. where I was home early enough in the evening to chill out.. but I am not.. and I can't do it. My body normally wakes up about 530-600 in the morning.. no alarm necessary.. so.. I am going to stick with that. I will have to work my workouts in, when I get them.. daily.. but different times, based on the activities that day.

Unfortunately it is hard to have a set schedule to PT or anything else for that matter when there is no set schedule for casualties..
Today, is a good example.. I would not and could not leave today to go work out with the amount of reports we had in our inbox to process.
I will find time, but, unfortunately, I can't do the set schedule thing. I will try.. I am going to try and attend the P90X sessions that we have in the afternoons.. on days I can.. I will.. on days I can't.. I will do my own PT at the time available.

I talk about it, because I feel like a failure...I had such high hopes and goals.. but.. it will just have to wait and work around my schedule.
I will find my time daily to work out.. but it won't be the insanity at 0500.

Its amazing the difference I feel in the morning waking up at 0530/600 vice 0500, especially when I work about 14-15 hours a day.
So - all of you followers out there.. don't be disappointed in me.. I will work out.. but.. just not what I thought I would be doing...

So, a couple night ago - I was on the smoke deck and one of my fellow LTs was out there..he asked me how I was doing, if this ever gets to me, etc etc..
So I explained my coping mechanism.. and then he asked me.. "Is it worth it?" So I replied.."The job?" and he said, "NO, this.."
Hmmmm... I had to think for a minute.
Now, no matter what you think of our president, or out country, or the war, this question can almost never be simply a black or white answer, but,
I blurted out, "No." Then I thought about my answer. I had never really thought about it. Thought about what are we doing here? Why are soo many people dying everyday? Are we actually making progress? And if we were, or are, then why are soo many people still dying?

These are all hard questions, but I am not about to get into a debate (especially political or war driven) with anyone..
I have my own views and my own opinions from a different perspective.. one different than most, simply because I see first-hand ALL casualty reports for Afghanistan. Now - this doesn't mean I have a better perspective, it's just mine.. and its based on what I see, and what is reported..
Anyways, the purpose of this was to say that quite honestly, I had never really thought about the war.. why we are here.. what we are doing, if it is working, etc.. I have never been much for politics and quite honestly until 6 months ago, probably couldn't have even shown you on a map where Afghanistan was. Now that I am here, it is different. I have to answer that question for myself... after some diligent thought.

Okay, enough political stuff.. okay.. well, maybe not.
I seen a post of facebook today from one of my friends from the ship, Brett,

This article talked about the privileges the detainees are now getting: Cable TV (18 channels) WIFI, Computer/internet area, skype, flat screen TVs to watch their cable..
Then I thought about that and compared it to us.. here in Kabul - we have 16 channels.. (when we're lucky) a WIFI café thru the USO with NO computers.. and an MWR movie area in the basement with 1 flat screen tv.. .

Something is wrong with that picture when the detainees get to SKYPE home, and ours is barely enough bandwidth to IM...
Now - yes... we are lucky to have anything... I'm just sayin...

The summer is winding down for my kids and my parents. My parents are packing up their house as we speak (okay, well, my mom is probably still sleeping as I write this..) but you get the point.. they will be leaving within the next 2 weeks, with 30 years worth of "stuff" to head down to San Marcos. This is a big move for them.. and I hope they know how grateful I am! The kids will be heading home in a few weeks (1st week of August) so that they have enough time to readjust and get ready for the next school year...They are having a blast with Aunt Tammy and I hope she knows how grateful I am to her as well for the great summer memories she has shared with them.

My night is winding down. The night shift has come in and I am thinking I am going to leave here pretty soon. Its already about 2015 and I've been here since about 615 this morning. I think its time to go.. :)


  1. As if I didn't enough already, my admiration for you grows with each blog. I can only imagine how tough it is on these "busy" days. And to be doin all of it, accomplishing the mission, with still bein a single mom away from her kids and family. I think about the kids alot and can only imagine how bad they miss you, and how they have their days where "they just aren't the same". Keep driving on and know that your sacrifice and your dedication to mission is recognized.

  2. Tanya I am the one who is grateful, you are over there serving this country. I am grateful. Thank you for serving, thank you for being you, thank you for letting me have my niece and 2 nephews for the summer and yes some typical kid drama but I LOVE these kids. We will have more great memories before this summer is over. Next year WE will have memories to share. We are coming to you!!!! Stay safe, I love you!