Monday, August 23, 2010

Parenting from Afar

This is how you parent from afar.... LOL
New Rules...

To the kids...

So, I have done a lot of thinking, and there are some things that need
to change and some things that I want to remind you of, that I will be
asking Grandma and Papa to enforce.

I will just make a list.. we will go from there..

(1) No more Mature Rated games... it just facilitates too many bad
habits from older kids, that I don't want you to be influenced by.
You have plenty of games, and options - those 1 or 2 games aren't going
to kill you..

(2) No more all day on computer/xbox.. even if you don't anymore.. MAX
time is 1 hour - kinda aligned with Tylor's rule for himself..
That was a very good rule to go by..
You guys don't need to spend all day couped up on a computer/xbox..
There are plenty of other things to do..

(3) I want you all to start reading.. or continue reading.. You should
make a trip to the library with Gram and Papa (when they can) and have
atleast 1-2 books (CHAPTER BOOKS) that you are interested in. You need
to read. Get used to it. It will enhance your vocabulary and keep you
ready for school and all the reading you will have to do. This reading
should be for pleasure. When all else fails and you have NOTHING to do,
you should have a book to turn to.

(4) Boys - Although sleeping in one another's room is not a big deal (for the two
of you) - on school nights, you need to learn how to sleep on your own.
This is to ensure you get good nights sleep.. in your own bed.. so you
are ready for school the next day.

(5) COMMUNITY SERVICE - you will ALL start doing something for others.
At least once a month - you will find something to do for someone else..
whether it be habitat for humanity, helping at a homeless shelter,
something. I want you to experience doing something for others..
thinking of someone else and seeing what life is really like out there -
it will help you appreciate what you do have and that you have it much
better than most. Community Service is a great way to give back to the
community - believe me when I tell you, it will make your heart feel
good when you accomplish this and see the appreciation on someone else's
face for what you did for them. Be creative. Grandma and Papa - I
know this is a little more activity, but hopefully you can help them
facilitate ideas, and trips to make this happen. Kids - once a month.
And once you have completed your 'project' your assignment is to write
down in a journal or letter to me, what you did, how it made you feel,
how it made others feel and what you feel you got out of it. This is
for every time you do it. Now, I said at a minimum once a month - if
you guys can do more, that is great. BUT at a minimum once a month -
something. Ask Grandma and Papa for ideas if you can't figure it out.

(6) Bed times, Everyone will have bed times. EVERYONE. Katrina, this
is to include you. Your grades sucked last year. You will have a bed
time until you can prove that you can keep your grades up. School is
going to be harder and get harder for everyone. You all need your rest.
Boys, your bed time will remain the same as it was just before school
got out. WITH A TWIST. 830 at night.. you will be in your beds,
laying down reading or winding down to TV. 9 PM all lights/TVs go out.
That means have your teeth brushed, last water drink all of that by 830
at night. There will be no up and down.
830 pm - quiet time for you... Sleep time at 9. Katrina - 930PM in your
room, for quiet time. 10PM lights out. This means no computer,
texting, only TV or a book. ALL OF YOU- your phones will be placed on
the island at night before you go upstairs to bed. This will alleviate
any temptation to text into the wee hours of the night or beyond bed
time. You may not like my rules, but you will follow them. I trusted
you last year, Katrina, and did not give you a bed time, but your grades
SUCKED. Until you can prove otherwise, this will be your bedtime. I
will keep tabs on your grades and adjust when I feel it warrants it.

(7) Phone time - when I call, that is MY Time. You will make time for
me. If we have nothing to say to one another - then we will keep it
short. But I feel like I get the short end of the stick when I call you
and you are too wrapped up in other stuff to talk to me. Again, if
there is nothing to say, we will say hi, I love you and cut it short -
but give me the common courtesy of making 5 minutes of time for me. I
deserve that. When I call, when we talk, we will rotate on who gets to
talk to me first/last. This will be a rotation. No one gets "last
dibs" "first dibs" - Each of you are just as important to me as the
other - therefore, to make it fair, we will rotate on who talks

(8) CLEAN up your own messes. You are all big enough to clean up after
yourself. This includes your bathroom. Keep it tidy. Germs spread
easy, the more you clean up after yourself, the less likely to spread
germs and its just common courtesy to everyone.

(9) HELP Grandma & Papa - not just when they ask - but if you see
something needs to be done, do it. They shouldn't have to do everything
around there, NOT SAYING that you don't help.. this is just a friendly

(10) GAME NIGHT - with Granma & Papas help.. see if you can set up a
weekly family night. I think you might already but if not, do so. You
guys figure it out. Take turns deciding what you will do. But once a
week should be a family fun night.. (I'm not just talking movie night..)
That again, will be at Grandma & Papas discretion too, but you all need
to talk about it and figure out a good night, and a good rotation for
who gets to decide what game that night.. each of you will participate.
Just because you don't get to choose the game that night, doesn't mean
you don't have to participate.

(11) NO sass. DO not complain to me about Grandma and Papa.. I am
telling you now, they are enforcing MY RULES. THINGS have changed guys
and you will do as I say. They have not been unreasonable with you -
they want to have fun with you. It sucks that they have had to be seen
as the "bad guy" in this - but NO MORE. I am telling you now - that is
why I am sending this out. I have created rules. Most of these I
haven't talked to them about yet, but I want you to hear this from ME.
When you don't like something - blame it on me. I WILL NOT allow you to
play me vs them. I MADE the rules. You don't like them, you can
complain to me.. but it won't do you any good.. These are the rules.

You are each tasked with coming up with rules for the house to add to these.
Have Grandma email them to me, and I will incorporate them on this list
of house rules.

(12) IT never hurts to ASK. The worst anyone can say is NO. But at
least you will have tried. If you want to do something or you need
something , or you have an exception to the rule question - DON'T JUST
ASSUME that I or Grandma & Papa will say NO. Ask. You can't complain
about something - if you haven't even asked. BTW - you will NOT ALWAYS
Get what you want, when you want it. PERIOD. That's life, get used to
it. Sometimes you will be able to do or get something you want..
sometimes you won't.

(13) IF YOU leave the house - Grandma or PAPA MUST know where you are
at. You will check in every hour (I had to as a kid too..) this is to
ensure your safety.

(13) NO LYING about ANYTHING. You word is on your HONOR. If you have NO
HONOR - you will not be trusted and have NO freedoms. This goes for all
of you. I have lived with blinders on... That has been proven. NO MORE. NO
LYING. PERIOD. It is much easier to come clean. Then to drag it out with
a lie. Seriously, copping to something will get you less trouble.. then lying

THOSE ARE MY RULES. I will find out if Grandma and Papa have anything to
add.. but that is it. Follow those rules and life will be simple and
You want to complain about my rules - complain to me. BUT I'm telling
you now - they are not changing. These are basics.. very basics.. You
have it good. Be grateful. It could be worse.. much worse.. and I
promise you this.. I CAN GET MUCH worse. Don't make me. It would be
taking away from the good times Grandma and Papa want to have with you.

I love you all with all my heart.


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